5am

It took me an entire week to come up with a blogger name and yes, this is the best I could come up with.  Originally, I was thinking about calling it No Name because I like the thought of my past, my status, my job, my name does not define me.  In a hundred years, people will not talk about me on a daily, monthly or possible yearly basis (very possible).
What will matter is how I raise my children and how they raise their children and so on and so forth, that will become our generational bond.  What am I doing today for the Kingdom?  How am I showing my children Christ and his love?  What ways can I pray for them?  I then remembered the many times that I have and still do hear the Lord call my name and I know that holds weight in itself.  My name is Christ's bride, wife, mother, sister, daughter, grand-daughter, friend...my name is Janna and He sees me as beautiful, made in his image without flaw.  I desire a genuine heart and spirit full of gratitude and joy, not anxiety and control.  He whispers "beautiful".  On the days I am completely exhausted and feel like there is nothing left to give.."beautiful".  When I become frustrated with sin patterns.."beautiful".  When my heart aches and breaks for the homeless and how I have cried several times while driving, walking or even seeing those who have nothing..."beautiful".  When he gave me the a wonderful husband who works so hard and has such a servant heart..."beautiful".  When he gave me two healthy beautiful babies.."beautiful".  That's what He calls me.

I rolled, literally, out of bed this morning at 5am on a Saturday morning.  Not out of obligation but because I thought it would wonderful if I could have some hours to myself before the kids woke up.  Here are a few reasons why I chose to wake up at 5am

-To take a shower without worrying about Bram poking Lucy in the eyes and/or throwing random things in his fish tank.  I found him soaked yesterday and he told me the fish splashed him.  Pretty sure your 1/2 inch long betta fish did not splash you.  I actually laid down in the bath and stared at the ceiling in silence,  It was amazing.

-To drink my coffee while it's still hot.

-To have some quiet time with the Lord.  To read in peace.

-To get on my knees and pray for those that I have committed to praying for.

-No noise.

-To look at Bram while he is sleeping and I noticing how much he looks like his daddy when he sleeps.  I consider them to both be what I would call a "free" sleeper.  Not so much a pretty sleeper with both hands in prayer position under their check and hair placed perfectly on the pillow.  More of a free spirited sleeper with mouths wide open, arms out wide, legs tangled in the sheets and their hair sticking up in all positions.

It's been a good day.