Maternity leave....6 weeks in.
Justin took Bram and Lucy to Target and when the door shut behind him I had a mini movie moment where I leaned up against the wall and just took a deep breath and listened to the quietness.
Little Liza kept us up all night and decided to wait until the following morning to arrive. She is best known for her thick jet black hair and beautiful olive skin. Wow, she is gorgeous. I love to sit and just smell her babyness and look at her tiny features.
With each baby is a new feeling, experience, amazement and love. We quickly became a family of five and with all that love, a lot of work was soon to follow.
Let's be perfectly honest, behind all the cute facebook pictures are all-nighters, crying (Liza too), diapers (and diapers and diapers and diapers), rocking, laundry, spit-up and bra-less days.
It's been a rough 6 weeks for me personally.
The transition from two to three has been quite difficult. I don't know how to pass out my attention equally and still remain sane. I find that my days consist of apologizing(I will never be too proud to apologize to my child) for losing it, missing out on small moments because I just don't have the stamina or patience, worrying that I'm damaging them in some way, having the pity "is this my life" moments and wishing that someone would just come over and take over so I can sit in the corner and cry.
I know kids will have issues at different points but I just want them to dodge the "major" bullets. We have some specific things we would never want to see our own children go through so within that process it's like trying to fix something before it's even broken.
"Are they getting enough mommy time?"
"Are they getting enough daddy time?"
"Are they getting enough mommy and daddy time?"
"Are we getting enough time away?"
The ultimate goal I assume is raising them the best we can so that they grow up to continue the legacy that we will someday leave behind.
Love is exhausting.
I just want to be told that I'm doing okay from someone other than the Johnson & Johnson commercial.
So, from one mom to another (who on most days is wearing yesterdays make-up and can't remember the last time I washed my hair), you're doing okay.
God will honor your humility. None of us have it together. In our weakness He is strong.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I stumbled on this post. Of all days I needed that last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteSometimes all we need a is a little reassurance and for someone to say I have been in your shoes, and it will be ok. You have done that here today, thank you.