I am terrible at allowing others to serve me...even if I am paying for it. My personality thrives on the ability to organize, with little to no surprises, where I can walk in somewhere and know exactly what to expect and complete a task.
My appointment was scheduled for 4pm.
I was taken back to the restroom and she asked me if I knew how to use the lockers, which of course I had no idea how to. I had been to that specific spa before but because of my in-frequencies, I had no idea...I can't even remember what I had for dinner last night.
The spa is a place where I am instantly insecure with every decision I make.
The lady asked what size shoe I wear. In my head I was thinking, Should I ask if they have half sizes? I like the sound of size 7 versus size 8...but will my toes be hanging over the edge? Crap...what size am I? When was the last time I bought an actual pair of shoes...that weren't flip flops or slippers??
"I'm a 7."
So I stood in front of the locker looking at the robe and was confused as to why I needed a robe when she's only touching my face. So then I was instantly stressed with what clothing to leave on and what to remove. If I leave on too much I will look like a fool...if I remove too much I will look like I am expecting a full body massage.
I made my final decision that I regretted 30 minutes later due to the fact that the face lady had to personally go around and move items of clothing I left on that I should have removed.
Next decision, do I change out in front of the lockers or go into a restroom? I think I'm the only one in here so it's fine to change in the open space. As I rush to change, causing my adrenaline to sky rocket, I hear a toilet flush mid-shirt removal causing me to panic. The panic results in my hair getting caught on the buttons on my shirt and meeting the toilet flusher with my head stuck in my shirt and requesting additional help. Luckily she never got a good look at my face because my shirt covered it.
Ok, how do I activated the locker again?
Robe is officially on and my toes aren't hanging off the edge of the slippers.
I then began to remind myself of the additional instructions. Get changed, locker instructions, and then go into the quiet room. Which way is the quiet room? I hate looking spa uneducated..
Of course I walk the wrong direction but quickly turn the other way with no one noticing but myself..success.
The quiet room is super quiet. Just the elevator room music and some magazines but the lights are so low that I can't read the magazine. I pick up a pamphlet that I can't see the letters on and try to look like I am casually relaxing. In walks my face lady (seriously what would she be called..ugh...) and we head to the room.
She tells me to get settled in and she will come back.
What does settled in mean? Remove robe? I don't want some sort of harassment suite against me because of my spa ignorance.
I felt like a risk taker today so I removed the robe and climbed under the sheets and stared directly at the ceiling.
What do I do with my arms?
Straight down or across my chest?
Across my chest they go.
She walked in and asked what I was looking for with the microdermabrasion. I explained that my skin tone is really uneven and she continued to ask me about my day to day face care.
If you know me well, you know that some days I wash my face and some days I have been known to re-wear yesterday's make-up. She asked me if I exfoliated often...no. If I wear sunscreen....no. However, I think my face lotion has an SPF. I sure hope that wasn't a lie.
She told me about this make up that she would leave up front for me that has an SPF in it.
"Sounds great!" I said.
The next ten minutes I worried about how I was going to tell the lady at the front that in fact I didn't want to purchase the over priced SPF make-up....lady, I can barely wash my face on a daily basis.
Rookie mistake.
She was doing her thing and I realized I hadn't swallowed in a while. I didn't want to swallow when her face was so close to mine. I was able to get a quick swallow in while she leaned towards the sink...but 2 minutes later I needed to swallow again.
What's wrong with me? Am I an over-swallower?
So I went for it again and swallowed but I didn't fully commit so now I needed a throat clear which I was not about to do. I had no intention of being "face lady's" Facebook status for the evening.
50 minutes is a long time to keep your eyes closed when you aren't sleeping. I had this sudden urge to just pop open my eyes. I seriously could not control it....they just had to open. So randomly, my eyes popped open and there we were...awkwardly staring at each other.
*embarrassed grin
"Sorry, they just wanted to open."
Is that what I just said? I am for sure she is taking a pic of me right now...I'm not only going to be a status update but a picture status.
Janna get it together.
I was finally able to calm my mind enough to relax and realize that my legs felt rested and that it was nice to have my hands up by my chest....and then I started thinking how it felt like I was in a casket. Which of course made me think of dad which then made me cry.
Oh yes...you guessed it.
I cried.
She saw a tear run down my face and asked if something hurt and I just mumbled "my dad died."
Janna, is this you getting it together? Pull it together. You look like an idiot.
I finished up the facial and walked back into the locker/restroom and realized I didn't memorize my locker number, I was probably too startled by my hair getting stuck on my buttons...oh yeah...remember that?
So I started mid-way, I put in my four digit code to three lockers before it sounded the beautiful "this is yours" sound.
With all that said, today reminded me that some days I need to relax a little and let others take care of me because the days where people will need me are endless.
Lastly, I miss my dad, he would have thought that this was funny.
*I am attaching some pictures from the week of dad's death that are super precious to me and I just wanted to share. I don't have a blog to write about concerning everything because I haven't even had a chance to fully grasp it all. Thankful for my family and all the support from our wonderful community around us that still ask and mention dad; because even though the actual weeks have been many...it still seems like yesterday.
Me and Kyle.
Megan took our kids on more than one occasion so us "kids" could be with mom. Kyle and Meg took
Bram one afternoon and they spoiled him like an only child.
Love it! You are not alone in some of this...we all have those don't know what to do anxieties! That's why we need to become regulars. :-)
ReplyDeleteLove the pictures!
#relaxmoreoften
(This is Jana, by the way....I don't know why it won't get me sign out of Bryce's profile). The inner dialogue of a woman.....you are hilarious! I think God must get a kick out of the way our brain works / talks to itself.....mine does the same thing.
ReplyDeleteLove the pictures too....made me tear up a bit....continuing to pray for you.