I am More.

We celebrated another Mother's Day, thankful for children and healthy children at that.
For several months now, I have been struggling finding myself outside the title of mother.  A wonderful title it is but I never want it to become my identity.
There was a celebrity on television discussing the birth of her new child and she said "now I understand my purpose."

My children are not my purpose.
My husband is not my purpose.
My family is not my purpose.

I was created an individual with gifts and talents that were God breathed into me before I was even born.  My beautiful babies are a blessing to a life that had purpose before them.
On really hard days, when the routine is too routine and the mess is the same mess I cleaned up yesterday, I have to remind myself that.
I am more.
I remind myself that truly knowing who I am will benefit everyone around me.
I am more.
I am not going to wait until they are out of the house to develop my character.
I am more.
I have my own dreams and desires that I should pursue.
I. Am. More.

I love my children.  I ache when I am away from them, but I am more than mom.  When I have conversations with people I care about, I want those to be more about who I am becoming and where my heart is and to listen and care about their situations, trials, joys, and their life.
So easy to get sucked into allowing our children to become our world and everything and everyone circling around that too.
When we became pregnant, we chose to sacrifice at that moment many things, but I will never give up on my spiritual growth, my marriage....myself.

I picture our status' following overhead, our own labeled titles that we give ourselves.  Today, I am jumping high and wiping that clean.  Bursting the cloud that describes me based on my current status.
I am identified by many components.

I am sensitive to others, I enjoy laughing, alone time, learning, breathing in fresh air, I am fighter for justice, and I love to love.
I am also angry of past situations, anxious, fearful of circumstances I cannot control, confused about my direction in life, and hurt by people's unintentional actions or words.
I've got some work to do.
I started a study with a friend of mine and we are only on day two, but I am already soaking in the information and just grateful that I can spend time with another woman on a weekly basis discussing, well, us.
I will leave you with an insert from this study.  He is preparing me for eternity so waiting until my kids are off to college or married isn't an option, the work and the shifting needs to be happening now.

"Part of being in the family means God is now working on you.  One reason we have difficulty accepting His work in our lives is that our view of Him is so limited.  God is much greater than we give Him credit for.  He really knows what He's doing.  When you're in the mist of trials, you can rejoice to know that God loves you and that He will work in your circumstances according to His larger purpose for your life.  He is molding you into what He wants you to be for eternity.  So determine now to get the full benefit of your trials.  Life is short, and eternity is very, very long."

I would be a little more panicked about our current situations if I thought that this life was it.

It's not.